Eric got an apple tv for his birthday in October. One of it's features is to instantaneously play music along side all of our 50,000 photos from our computer hard drive wirelessly. Super cool feature. So sometimes if we are just hanging around the house, Eric will turn it on and it captures all of our attention and we -- remember.
It's so good to remember -- the road trips, the campouts, the first crawl, the first steps, the birthdays, the first bicycle rides, the remodels, the park dates, friends that are like family, airplane rides, car trips, the memories -- to remember the gifts of life. It's so good to remember because when I live in the present I often find my thoughts going to negative things...how tired I feel, my questions I have for God, my unmet expectation, my losses, the empty places in my heart, how much time and work my children demand but when I look at these photos of this family God has given me it takes me outside of myself and helps me remember the gifts in my life.
Everyday I live in a tension of being present to my family, loving and caring for them alongside wanting to crawl in a hole and simply take care of myself. I daydream about going to a spa with my favorite girlfriends and reading an entire novel in a day, getting a massage, eating chocolate and watching the sunset -- in quiet, without dirty fingers touching me or someone wanting to sit on my lap. And just maybe I even day dream about running away to Italy for a week (or a YEAR somedays). God gently reminds me of when I was single, alone, longing for a husband and longing to have children. That longing has been fulfilled with three healthy rambunctious children that God has given to me to care for and He often gently reminds me that this season too shall pass. Instead of daydreaming, settle in, relax, embrace motherhood -- it will not always be so intense.
I love this quote from Motherhood, A Spiritual Journey by Ellyn Sanna, "Even our vision needs washing, for as adults we have forgotten how to really see. We are so busy with grown-up responsibilities that we forget to notice the images of grace and mystery imbedded in the ordinary world. Our children remind us."
These pictures help me to remember to embrace the ordinary world instead of my grown up responsibilities. I want to stay present to the world right in front of me instead of the to do list of grown-up-ness that bogs me down. I want to enter into the snuggles, chubby cheeks, wrestle matches, and story times MORE!
No comments:
Post a Comment